dear diary..

in the last week...

i have wondered if fantasizing about hurting the dog is considered postpartum depression

fell asleep in line at whole foods and awoke to a man behind me saying "move it or lose it"

sent nick out to buy "the baby whisperer"

ate roughly 1,000 candy hearts

threw a valentines themed bring a dish and come see Ellie pledge class plus date party

got a massage and the knots were back in a record 3 hours

used a baby hat as a breast pad

looked for something that i was holding in my hand

put Elle in her crib for the first time

sent Nick back to work after 10 weeks of paternity leave

wore jeans that have a button and zipper

started shedding

went to vegas for sun and a change of scenery, which allowed me the privilege to nurse and change diapers in some amazing parking lots

overcame my biggest postpartum fear, i may actually have more than one child

oh the boss is calling, at least she is cute, here is a picture for your troubles

one month..oops never posted

just noticed that i never posted this (pathetic) post...and reading it now is hilarious because feeding and sleeping "whenever" is exactly why i read the baby whisperer today and can i say that i am more confused than ever....the author contradicts herself and ugh...who knows
anyway might as well post this, i think i am going to start posting again

how can four weeks seem like a lifetime while at the same time feel like a few (long) days?

i thought i would write down some random things (surprise, surprise) in case she ever asks me what she was like at 1 month old or if anyone still checks on this poor blog.

Elle Belle, you are 1 month old and cuter each minute! each time you wake up from a nap i swear that you have added a few ounces to your cheeks, (oh, those cheeks). you eat about every 3 hours, from the start of one feeding to the next so usually it ends up only being 2 hours! or you just eat whenever you want (as you should) and you sleep whenever you feel the need, you do always stay up late until about 1 am regularly. you love your baths. daddy likes to stick out his tongue at you and wait for you to imitate him, and now you just stick out your tongue as soon as you see him! you are now filling out your newborn clothes but are still swimming in the 0-3 month outfits. at your 2 week appt you were 7.8 lbs and 20 inches and your little head was in the 12th percentile! in the past few days it seems as though you have woken up, you love to play and interact! you are more fun each day!

i feel great-ish
i can zip pre-preg jeans but on the rare occasion that i leave the house i still wear maternity jeans
i am still sore
very sore
anxious to get back to walking each day and pilates classes
struggling with cabin fever, with the cold weather and inversions it is almost impossible to even get outside to take a walk

baby E

Eleanor Grace

born December 12, 2010, five days early
at 8:58 am, 12 hours after my water broke while eating my salad in the ballroom at the Grand America Hotel at Nicks' work Holiday party, minutes after one of the partners introduced Nick to the room and said "...and his very pregnant wife, she has promised not to go into labor tonight, they are here tonight as their last hurrah (??)"
6 pounds 15 ounces (same as her mama)
19 inches long (same as her mama)

picture taken at 6 days old

it's a start..

i need to post, i have needed to post for a long time. i need to post our trip to NYC, our trip to Aruba, house projects, all the fun (and not so fun) things happening in my belly, and etc. (i have even considered starting an anonymous blog so that i could write about all of the funny pregnancy symptoms and happenings without having to see family or co-workers the next day.)

anyway here is a start before Housewives of BH starts

today i am 35 weeks pregnant

belly measuring: perfect
weight: college linebacker
blood pressure: 110 something something
feeling: good, tired, sore back and ribs, grateful
swelling: moderate, shoes fit, ankles exist, sometimes wedding ring fits and sometimes it hurts
job status: still working...letting the kids get away with more everyday
chin: still one...well there may be a shadow in some lights
belly button: still an innie
activity: pilates reformer class twice a week, walking the dog around the hood or until i have to pee 3-4 times a week, house chores and marital chores
nursery: crib and changing table in boxes, no paint, nothing put away, still full of office supplies
sleep: right side, left side, bathroom and repeat
skin: no change, except a few red spots recently noticed on sides of belly
appetite: normal, craving carby sweets and pumpkin spice
baby position: ready to launch, she has been head down and ready to roll since 27 weeks
husband: excited, sweet, encouraging, helpful, having a birthday this week

dear diary

i definitely do not have the journal bug and we have not taken a picture every week, so here is my attempt to remember my uteri happenings

5 weeks: 2 pee sticks say PREGNANT

8 weeks: the puking begins

10 weeks: first midwife appt., hear heartbeat

12 weeks: convince nick to go to fetal photos because i still don't believe there is really a baby in there, even though i heard a heartbeat that doesn't guarantee that he/she has a head

14/15 weeks: visit family and friends in PA

16 weeks: she is a girl!

18 weeks: fly to NYC to see Dave Matthews and sweat and swell my way through the city and "wait, i haven't thrown up today or yesterday"

19 weeks: official doctor ultrasound, still a girl, she sucks her thumb and scratches her head the same way oscar does

20 weeks: i popped sometime between NYC and now, sometimes strangers go out on a limb and ask when i am due

21 weeks: 3 week no puke streak ends abruptly and a belly band is needed on a few pairs of pants, most still button under belly

oh my

she is a girl! Husband and I had a feeling from the very beginning that it was a girl. We always thought she... never he or it. Also, a few days before I found out I was pregnant I had a dream about a baby girl!

My mom was convinced that she was a boy and was only buying boy clothes. At 16 weeks we went to fetal photos and they told us she was a girl. My mom decided "he" was just little and she would not return any of the boy clothes until my doctor ultrasound at 19 weeks. A few days before my doctor ultrasound she had me convinced they were going to see a boy and i started picturing a little boy with glasses, he looked a lot like the little boy on jon and kate plus eight.

But alas, she is still a girl!

confession; when we got into the car after the first ultrasound i started to cry, even though i had thought it was a girl, it hit me and i was terrified. just crying, and crying about how scared i was to have a girl because i was not easy on my parents. i was a snot from about 9 to 20. so let's pray she takes after daddy.

memory

scene; midwife's office 15 week apt

nurse: wow, you weigh the same today than you did at 10 weeks, you haven't gained any weight

and then husband looks me up and down with a face that said it all...luckily (for him) the hormones were on his side and i just laughed and said i didn't understand it either